


Colors to Monsters

by fromstarlighttodust



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Music, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Drug Abuse, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, I know, Its a lot, Lovers To Enemies, Musicians, Strangers to Lovers, Supportive Katsuki Yuuri, albeit grudgingly at times, lovers to enemies again
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-15
Updated: 2019-11-05
Packaged: 2020-12-17 05:27:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21049055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fromstarlighttodust/pseuds/fromstarlighttodust
Summary: Yuuri, an aspiring singer meets his idol, singer Viktor Nikiforov of the band Angel, Angel in the most unexpected way one night while he's walking home. Thrown into each other's company--and arms--Yuuri finds himself making promises he never thought he would even have the place to make while Viktor offers him some advice for his aspiring career. However, as Yuuri's dream to be a singer takes flight and becomes reality, Viktor doesn't seem to be the same man that Yuuri met during what shaped up to be the best weekend of his life.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey my lovelies! This is my submission for the Viktuuri Angst Bang! In a later chapter, there will be some amazing art from R-Tengu :3. This fic is a bit heavy on the music, and I will include links to every song I used when it comes up in the fic. I hopy you enjoy!

**January 14, 2011**

“Why do you hate me so much?”

Yuuri blinked at Viktor, the older man was disheveled, not his usual, pristine self. Yuuri turned away from the door and retreated back into his apartment, slowly picking up the remote to his tv to turn it off, the reporter on the screen echoing through the living room _ “Accusations of drug abuse have come out against hit singer Viktor Nikiforov of the group Angel, Angel. Many are asking if we are watching the fall of the living legend of music. People are hailing The Eros Experience’s break through song, ‘Colors’ as the first inkling to this investigation. The nameless lead singer of The Eros Experience and Nikiforov seem to have a feud of some kind-” _The reporter was silenced by the television being shut off.

Viktor had taken the open door as the invitation it had been and had followed Yuuri into the apartment. They both stood in awkward silence in the living room, the tv giving away Viktor’s reason for appearing on Yuuri’s doorstep as he had.

“I don’t-” Yuuri started, but Viktor was already cutting him off.

“I’ve never done anything to you! Why are you doing this? Why do you hate me _ this much _?” Viktor was crying now and Yuuri felt something delicate inside him about to snap. He took several deep breaths, closing his eyes. How did all of this start? Colors? No, long before that. Before Yuuri wrote a song about a man that had, at one time, been his idol. A man that had broken his heart in more ways than one. Viktor was still talking through his tears. “All the songs, all the fighting on the stage. Why did you do this?”

“I don't hate you,” Yuuri said quietly. “You hurt me and I was dumb enough to let you do it more than once. Maybe I hate myself, but I was just playing your game with the songs. I never meant for… For this.”

“How could I have hurt you? I don't know you!” Viktor shouted and what was left of Yuuri's self control shattered.

**May 15, 2009**

Yuuri sighed deeply as he walked down the street, waiting for the call from his manager with the inevitable bad news, that the recording company they'd sent Yuuri's music to didn't want him. As he walked, he heard a crash down an alley to his left and a muted groan of pain. Against his better judgement, he paused and peered down the alley, expecting to see some drunk.

Nothing could have prepared him, however, for looking into the eyes of Viktor Nikiforov as he leaned heavily against the wall. Yuuri's idol, the reason he was trying to become a singer, the living legend of music himself blinked hazily at Yuuri and he looked _ sick _.

Without hesitating, Yuuri shot forward and offered a hand for Viktor to steady himself with. “Hey, are you alright? Are you sick?”

“Ah, ’m fine,” Viktor smiled weakly.

“Let me help you,” Yuuri said softly, putting all of his hero worship aside.

“Thanks,” Viktor muttered. “I’m staying not to far from here, can you walk me back?”

Yuuri blinked in surprise, shocked that someone as famous as Viktor was willing to let a nobody like Yuuri bring him back to his hotel room. “Of course. Where are you staying?”

“The… Astoria,” Viktor muttered.

Yuuri just managed to suppress an unsurprised sigh. Of course Viktor was staying that the most expensive hotel in the area, he should have known. “Alright, come on,” he said as he carefully wound his arm around Viktor’s waist, letting the other lean on him. The progress was slow, and Yuuri could only hope that no one around would recognize Viktor and take pictures of them.

They made it to the hotel, slowly but surely, and once there, Yuuri had a moment of crisis. Was he expected to take Viktor all the way to his room? _ Was a nobody like him even permitted to step foot in a god’s room? _ But with one look at Viktor who was all but unconscious on his shoulder, the thoughts went out of his head. Half carrying Viktor to the elevators, he hit the call button.

“What floor are we going to, Viktor?” Yuuri said softly, trying not to draw attention to them.

“Top floor,” Viktor giggled.

“Of course,” Yuuri replied and lead them into the elevator that had just arrived. Hitting the button labeled ‘22’ he took a deep sigh, finally alone with the other man, no longer worried about pictures of this on the internet. With the state he was in now, Yuuri was sure that Viktor didn’t want his fans to see him like this.

When the elevator doors opened, Viktor pointed haphazardly down the hall. “Last on the… the… that side,” Viktor motioned loosely to the right.

Yuuri snorted softly, but helped Viktor down the hall to the last door on the right. Viktor started to fumble around, feeling at his pockets until Yuuri ran out of patience. “I’ve got you,” Yuuri said softly and slid his hand into Viktor’s pockets without thinking too much about it. If he had let himself think about it, he would have an emotional break down about the fact that he was basically feeling Viktor Nikiforov up.

Finally retrieving the key card, Yuuri slid it into the slot and helped Viktor to the bedroom. Blushing slightly he placed Viktor on the bed, trying not to stress about how he had found himself in this situation. “Stay here, I’m going to get you water, alright?”

Viktor nodded loosely and flopped back against the pillows. Yuuri found a glass in the kitchen and filled it up, bringing it back to the bedroom and handing it to Viktor. As the older man drank, Yuuri gently placed his hand on Viktor’s forehead.

“You don’t seem to have a fever, so if you stay hydrated and rest for a while I’m sure you’ll be fine,” Yuuri said softly.

Viktor smiled at him, setting the glass down on the side table. “And who is my knight in shining armor, if I may know?”

Yuuri startled, realizing that he had never told Viktor his name. “I’m… Yuuri. A nobody, just Yuuri.”

Viktor frowned at him. “I don’t think you’re a nobody.”

“I am, at least for now,” Yuuri blushed, looking at his knees, still trying to figure out how he had ended up in Viktor Nikiforov’s hotel room, sitting awkwardly on the edge of his bed.

“For now?” Viktor questioned.

“I… Uh,” Yuuri turned impossibly redder. “I want to be a singer. I’m actually waiting for a call from my manager right now about a deal with a record company.”

“Oooh, you sing? Me too!” Viktor beamed at him.

Yuuri laughed. “I know you do. You’re Viktor Nikiforov of Angel, Angel.”

“Oh, so you know who I am,” Viktor sighed. “Is that why you’re being so nice to me?”

“No!” Yuuri frowned at the accusation. “It didn’t matter who you were. You were in an alley and needed help!” 

Viktor blinked at him for a few seconds before smiling again. “Sing for me.”

Yuuri reeled back, surprised. “You want me to sing for you?”

“Yeah! If you want to be a singer, you’re probably good, right?” Viktor grinned.

“But-” Yuuri started to object, but Viktor cut him off.

“You know who I am, so you must know my songs,” Viktor mused. “If I start, you could pick it up, yes?”

Before Yuuri could object, Viktor opened his mouth and started singing one of his songs. Yuuri knew it even without the instrumental behind the words. It was Stupid Deep, one of his earlier songs that Yuuri had listened to on repeat inside his bedroom, trying to match the sound of Viktor’s voice with his own. Of course, he knew it, he knew all of Viktor’s songs by heart.

[_ “ _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q-scUJX_I8k&list=PLcO_LP6EWo9yI3OQ3GxQwPktyhpkYCyMc&index=2&t=0s) _[ W](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q-scUJX_I8k&list=PLcO_LP6EWo9yI3OQ3GxQwPktyhpkYCyMc&index=2&t=0s)hat if who I hoped to be was always me? _

_ And the love I fought to feel was always free?” _

Yuuri hesitated, Viktor’s beautiful voice wrapping around the lyrics like a warm embrace. He had never thought he would find himself in this situation. When he didn’t pick up the next line, Viktor continued, his eyes closed as he sang softly, the sound reverberating through Yuuri.

_ “What if all the things I’ve done _

_ Were just attempts at earning love? _

_ ‘Cause the hole inside my heart is stupid deep, stupid deep” _

Viktor opened his eyes, pausing and looking at Yuuri expectantly. He hesitated before swallowing heavily and opening his mouth, singing the lyrics just as softly as Viktor had.

_ “What if where I’ve tried to go was always here? _

_ And the path I’ve tried to cut was always clear? _

_ Why has life become a plan _

_ To put some money in my hand _

_ When the love I need is stupid cheap, stupid cheap” _

Yuuri almost faltered when Viktor smiled sweetly and picked up the next lyrics with him, but the look in Viktor’s eyes begged him not to stop.

_ “ _ _ What if who I hoped to be was always me? _

_ And the love I fought to feel was always free? _

_ What if all the things I’ve done _

_ Were just attempts at earning love? _

_ ‘Cause the hole inside my heart is stupid deep, stupid deep” _

Viktor reached out to take Yuuri’s hand, halting both of them. Yuuri sat, staring at him with wide eyes, hoping he hadn’t messed the whole song up. Mentally, he went over all the mistakes he made, knowing that his nerves must have shown through at least a little bit in his voice.

“Wow,” Viktor said softly.

“I’m sorry,” Yuuri started, but Viktor shook his head.

“You’re really good, Just Yuuri, and we harmonize really well,” Viktor smiled. “If the record company doesn’t offer you a deal then they are totally missing out.”

Yuuri sighed softly, glowing under the praise, but… “I think it’s less of my voice and more of my look that gives them pause.”

Viktor hummed thoughtfully, looking Yuuri up and down. “Ah, I see.”

“That doesn’t help,” Yuuri flushed red, trying to cover up his body a bit under Viktor’s scrutiny. “The last one wanted to change me completely and I… wasn’t comfortable with that.”

Viktor shook his head. “Don’t get me wrong, you’re very cute, but you need a hook. It’s not easy to make yourself distinguashable in the industry these days.”

“A hook?” Yuuri asked, blinking at Viktor like he was crazy.

“Mhm, I mean, look at my little brother. He’s just started his own band,” Viktor pointed out, waving his hand through the air.

“Your brother?” Yuuri wrinkled his brow. He had never heard of Viktor having a brother before and he had prided himself in being the singer’s number one fan.

“Ah,” Viktor smiled again, though this time it was a bit more pinched. “That’s a secret, isn’t it? You can’t tell anyone that Yuri is my brother.”

“Yuri…” Yuuri blinked, going over his mental library of artists. “Yuri Plisetsky?”

“Mhm,” Viktor nodded. “Well, my half brother, but he doesn’t want anyone to know we’re related. He kind of hates me, you know?”

“Why would he hate you?” Yuuri asked before he could stop himself.

“Ah, something about living in my shadow his whole life and all of that,” Viktor said vaguely. “Angry teen things. But more importantly than that, his hook is his rebellion, you know? You need a hook.”

“Thank you,” Yuuri said quietly. “I’ll think about that.”

“I wouldn’t tell you if I didn’t think you could succeed,” Viktor flopped back onto his pillows.

“Why do you think that? You don’t know me,” Yuuri asked, surprised.

“Well,” Viktor looked at the ceiling. “Call it a little bit of intuition mixed with hope. I like you, Just Yuuri.”

Yuuri laughed softly and then caught sight of the clock on the nightstand. “Oh, it’s getting late. I should probably go, I’ve intruded on your space more than enough. Thank you and I hope you feel better,” Yuuri spoke hastily as he stood up from the edge of the bed. He didn’t want to leave this magical little bubble in which he was being praised by his idol, but he knew that he had probably long overstayed his welcome.

Viktor’s hand shot out to latch onto Yuuri’s wrist. “Stay. Please, stay.”

Yuuri froze. “What?”

“Stay,” Viktor repeated. “I have this room booked for the rest of the weekend before I have to go to my next bunch of shows and I… I would appreciate the company. Please, Just Yuuri, stay.”

Yuuri nodded before his mind could sabotage this and send him running. “Alright. Yeah, okay, I’ll stay. And you know that the ‘just’ isn’t part of my name, right?”

Viktor’s face lit up. “Of course, but if that’s how you introduce yourself, that’s what I’m going to call you.”

Yuuri snorted, trying to hold back his laughter before he looked around. “I suppose I could sleep on the couch in the living room. It looked pretty comfortable.”

“Or you could sleep in here,” Viktor blinked up at him. “I don’t bite.”

Yuuri froze for a few moments before he turned seriously to Viktor, concern swelling in his chest. “Don’t you think that you’re being awfully trusting with me? I’m basically a stranger.”

Viktor hummed thoughtfully at that. “Do you wish me harm, Just Yuuri?”

Yuuri shook his head vigorously. “Of course not, but you should be careful! What if someone who did wish you harm was here instead of me?”

Viktor flashed a shark tooth grin and pulled the chain he wore around his neck free from his shirt. “Easy. I just press this pendant and it sends a signal to my personal security detail that is posted in the room next door and they come and _ take care of it _. I am perfectly safe. In fact, they have probably already looked you up and gotten all of your intimate details at their fingertips the moment you approached me in the alley.”

Yuuri shivered and managed to stutter out a response. “I--I see.”

Viktor nodded. “So, will you sleep in here with me?”

“I--” Yuuri hesitated, but the look in Viktor’s eyes made him hesitate. “Okay. But I want to clarify, Viktor, I don’t want anything from you. I--I mean, it’s not that I wouldn’t… I just--That’s just not why I’m here, alright?”

Viktor laughed softly. “Understood, Just Yuuri.”

Yuuri hesitantly sat back down on the bed and studied his knees. “I don’t know what to do, to be honest.”

Viktor laughed and grabbed Yuuri by the arm, pulling him to lay down next to him before he leaned up and clicked the light off on the nightstand and got comfortable. They lay in silence for a few minutes, both laying on their backs, barely an inch separating their arms. Yuuri was still reeling at how he had found himself here, in this situation, preparing to spend the night sleeping next to Viktor.

After some time had passed, Viktor spoke. “Are you a big fan of mine, Just Yuuri?”

Yuuri nodded in the dark. “You could say that.”

“That’s nice,” Viktor said softly. “So it must have been surprising to hear about the fact that I have a brother.”

Yuuri nodded again. “I didn’t know at all.”

“We were very careful to keep it a secret. So, if you’re my fan, when did I debut?” Viktor asked.

“Are you asking about when you debuted as a singer, which was six years ago with the ‘breaking free’ album or when you had your first showing as a child actor which was when you were seven?” Yuuri responded.

“Oh, look at that, you do know your Viktor trivia,” Viktor laughed. “You might know my life better than I do if you can rattle off more details like that.”

“You inspired me,” Yuuri whispered. “I wanted to be like you.”

“No,” Viktor said, almost harshly. “You don’t want to be like me, Just Yuuri. You want to be like you, which I’m sure is immeasurably better than anything I am.”

“What?” Yuuri turned his head to look at Viktor.

“Do you have a family that supports you?” Viktor moved on like he hadn’t said anything at all.

“Ah, yes. My family runs an onsen in Japan, but they are very supportive to my dreams,” Yuuri blinked, trying to figure out what had just happened.

“That must be nice,” Viktor sighed. “My father remarried after my mother died and I think that I became something of an afterthought. Yura--Yuri Plisetsky--is a product of my father’s second marriage, but he left them, too. Yura uses his mother’s maiden name. My mother was very beautiful. I’m sure you know who she was.”

“Anastasia Nikiforov,” Yuuri confirmed. “She was a big tv actress.”

“Da,” Viktor nodded. “I wish she smiled at home like she did when she was acting, but she was very depressed, I think. That’s probably why she--”

“I know,” Yuuri said quickly. Anastasia Nikiforov had died of drug overdose. Yuuri couldn’t imagine what it had been like for Viktor.

“I’m sure you do,” Viktor laughed again, but the sound was a bit more bitter than before. “It’s good that your family supports you and is there for you, Just Yuuri.”

Yuuri nodded. “Yes… That is true.”

“Maybe one day I can meet them! That would be fun,” Viktor said cheerfully, but Yuuri could tell it was a bit forced.

“You would like the onsen, I think,” Yuuri said softly.

“Okay, one day you should take me home to meet your parents,” Viktor turned and met Yuuri’s eyes.

Yuuri blushed slightly and looked up at the ceiling again. “I think that maybe you should rephrase that.”

Viktor blinked for a few moments before he giggled. “No, I think that was perfect.”

“Viktor!” Yuuri turned back to him, his face beet red.

“I’m only teasing you, Just Yuuri,” Viktor said between his laughs and after a few moments, Yuuri joined him.

“Wait, Viktor, you family didn’t support your career?” Yuuri asked, Viktor’s earlier words just starting to process.

“Oh, no, my mother’s agents all were very helpful when my career was just starting out. I was very lucky in that regard. Everyone should have a team that dedicated,” Viktor smiled, but again it was a bit pinched.

Yuuri blinked at him, trying to process the meaning behind Viktor’s words. “Everyone needs love and support from the people that they care about.”

“Ah, the fans love me. Thousands of happy, screaming teenagers and I figure that’s what’s the most important, right? They are the ones that matter, yes?” Viktor said cheerfully.

And wasn’t that a whole trunk of issues to unpack? Yuuri didn’t even know where to start and was painfully aware that he had just met the man lying next to him a few hours earlier, that it wasn’t his place to start taking the trauma out of the attic. Instead, he went with classic avoidance, changing the topic, trying to be polite. “I never thought in a million years I would be here,” Yuuri said, barely a whisper.

“Where?” Viktor asked.

“Here,” Yuuri motioned openly. “I’m in a really expensive hotel room, laying on a bed next to Viktor Nikiforov, waiting to hear from my manager about a record deal. What is my life?”

Viktor laughed quietly, but he was silent for a few minutes before he responded. “What if you weren’t here with Viktor Nikiforov of Angel, Angel and you were were with Just Viktor?”

Yuuri blinked at him in the dark for a few moments before he smiled gently. “I think that would make me even luckier.”

Even in the dark, Yuuri could see a blush spread over Viktor’s cheeks before the singer shifted over and rested his head against Yuuri’s shoulder. “That’s good, because I think tonight I want to be Just Viktor.”

They talked for hours into the night, about nothing in particular. They talked about music, about their hobbies and interests. About crazy schedules and about their mutual love for dogs. Eventually, Viktor drifted off to sleep, mid sentence about the how soothing the sound of the gulls in Saint Petersburg were to him and he hadn’t even noticed until he had left home. Yuuri stayed awake for a while more, nearly losing his mind as Viktor cuddled closer to him in his sleep.

He couldn’t believe how amazing this night had turned out. Maybe, just maybe, he and Viktor could be friends?


	2. Chapter 2

**May 16, 2009**

Yuuri woke slowly, stretching his legs out as he blinked the sleep from his eyes. When his leg bumped into something else, he froze. That ceiling wasn’t his… As the events from last night came flooding back to him, Yuuri nearly leapt out of bed in a panic. He had slept over in Viktor’s hotel room.

While Yuuri was freaking out at what to do, Viktor stirred next to him. “J… Just Yuuri,” Viktor muttered, his hair sticking up a little as he blinked at the brunette. “You really stayed.”

“W-Was I not supposed to?” Yuuri stuttered.

Viktor hummed and stretched. “No, it’s nice. Most people wouldn’t have.”

Yuuri frowned. “You asked me to stay. Why would I leave?”

Viktor shrugged slightly. “Usually the people I bring home aren’t interested in staying if I don’t pay or put out.”

Yuuri’s frown deepened. “You need new friends then.”

Viktor stared at him for a few minutes before he laughed slightly. “Maybe you’re right. Will you be my friend, Just Yuuri?”

“Yes,” Yuuri said, maybe a little too quickly.

Viktor smiled and stood up, going over to his luggage that was still in the corner. After rummaging around for a little while, he pulled out a pill bottle and then shook it before making a disgruntled face and unscrewing the cap. As Yuuri watched, he shook out two little blue pills and looked around for water.

“What’s that?” Yuuri asked carefully, eyeing the unmarked bottle Viktor had set down.

Viktor held out his hand. “My own special blend of happy pills. Not available on market. Very expensive. Want one? But they’re very strong so maybe start with half a one.”

Yuuri’s brow furrowed. “Drugs? Those are drugs? Like illegal drugs?”

Viktor looked at the pills for a moment before he shrugged. “Yes?”

Yuuri’s eyes widened as he looked up at Viktor. “Why?”

After a moment, Viktor sighed and carefully placed the pills on the nightstand before sitting next to Yuuri. “The only times I feel happy is when I’m high so I’m  _ always _ high. Also something not in the tabloids, Just Yuuri,” Viktor tapped Yuuri’s nose with the tip of his finger.

“Please!” Yuuri exclaimed before he could stop himself. His heart felt tight, he was so sad to see this from Viktor, his idol, but at the same time, Yuuri desperately wanted to help him. “Please don’t take them! At least not for today. I’m your friend now! Let me try to make you happy, just for today!”

Viktor blinked at him for a few seconds before he carefully reached over and plucked the pills off the nightstand, studying them. After a second he opened the bottle and dropped them back into it before closing it and staring at the bottle. Very quietly, he responded. “Maybe you’re right, Just Yuuri. I think I won’t need them to be happy today.”

Yuuri felt like his heart was going to burst with happiness. “Thank you! I’ll try do everything I can to make you happy, I promise!”

Viktor laughed. “You don’t need to try,” he muttered as he lobbed the pill bottle back towards his bags.

Yuuri’s mouth opened, but he didn’t know how to respond to that. Instead, he asked the first thing that popped into his head. “Is that why you were sick last night?”

Viktor nodded. “Mixed with too much alcohol, the pills tend to make me a little bit loopy.”

“So you were drunk, too,” Yuuri ran his hand down his face. “Hangover?”

“I’m Russian,” Viktor replied immediately.

Yuuri sent him a look. “And? Hangover?”

Viktor laughed and then winced. “Fine, you win. Yes, hangover.”

“Let me help,” Yuuri smiled. “I know a good remedy for those. My roommate, Phichit, used to make it for us after went out partying during our college years. Oh, but this is a hotel room… I might have to go to a grocery store quickly…”

Viktor smiled. “Or I could just have one of my team go get whatever you need.”

Yuuri blinked. “Or… We could do that.”

“Good, I’ll call them,” Viktor said and fumbled around until he found his cell phone and called someone. “Yeah, I need groceries. I don’t know, hold on. What do we need, Just Yuuri?”

As Yuuri recited the ingredients, Viktor relayed the information to the person on the phone. Once they arrived, with a knock on the door from a person who was gone by the time Viktor opened the door, Yuuri set to work, making Phichit’s patented Hangover Cure. As he did, he mused over the way the Viktor's voice had changed on the phone as compared to the tone he used on Yuuri.

It was like night and day. The way Viktor spoke on the phone was polite but clipped and… Fake, just like how he seemed in every media appearance he made, Yuuri realized, now that he’s seen what Viktor was really like. When he had spoken to Yuuri it was warm and with almost subdued shyness. It was like Viktor wanted Yuuri to stay, wanted to bare his soul, but didn’t dare hope for it. By the time he was finished cooking, he was determined to give Viktor the best day of his life.

``~`**`~``

They watched reruns of soap operas on tv for hours after finishing up breakfast. When Yuuri had made up his mind to give Viktor the best day, he hadn’t expected Viktor’s desires to be so… simple. They sat on the couch together, Viktor happily nestled into Yuuri’s side, almost like they hadn’t just met less than 24 hours ago, like they had been friends for years, not hours.

“Viktor,” Yuuri said softly, during a commercial.

“Hmmm?” Viktor hummed and happily leaned closer to Yuuri like it was the most natural thing in the world.

Yuuri flushed slightly when he turned his head and saw just how close Viktor was. “A-Are you happy?” he stuttered out.

Viktor beamed a bright smile at him. “Yes! I’ve truly enjoyed today!” But then his face fell and he looked down. “Oh, but you’re surely bored. I should have taken your preferences into account. I’m sure as my long time fan, you were expecting more. Would you like to go out, Just Yuuri? Perhaps an expensive restaurant? Or maybe clubbing? What is it that you thought Viktor Nikiforov would do on his down time? Hmmm, which Viktor is it that you want to spend time with? The fun, party boy? The rich, elusive one? Oh, perhaps the seducer playboy.”

Yuuri could  _ feel _ his face crumbling the longer Vitkor spoke. Finally, he took both of Viktor’s shoulders firmly and pushed the older man away from him, startling Viktor out of his ramble. “Stop,” Yuuri exclaimed.

“What?” Viktor looked as surprised as Yuuri had hoped but he seemed genuinely confused.

Yuuri unconsciously, gently shook Viktor’s shoulders while he collected his thoughts, tried to find the best words to explain what he was thinking. Finally he looked up, ceasing his shaking before he could even realize he had been doing it. “I don’t want that. I don’t want you to put on a facade for me, Viktor. I want you to just be yourself. If you want to watch daytime tv until you have to leave to go to your next concert, then so be it. I just want you to be happy. I just want you to be  _ Viktor _ . That’s it. Don’t try to be something you’re not because you think that’s what I want. That’s not what friends ask of each other. Friends accept each other as they are. Last night you asked me if I would mind being with Just Viktor instead of Viktor Nikiforov. My answer stays the same. I would be luckier to be with Just Viktor than I would be to be spending this time with Viktor Nikiforov.”

Viktor looked at him with wide eyes for a few moments, his cheeks slowly turning pink as he processed Yuuri’s words. “Alright. Just Viktor it is,” Viktor whispered. “Can we cuddle some more?”

Yuuri smiled and nodded, which lead to Viktor bodily leaping into Yuuri’s arms and snuggling into his chest. Yuuri felt a peculiar warmth spreading through his chest as Viktor nuzzled into him. 

``~`**`~``

Yuuri lay in the big bed next to Viktor as the other man snuggled into him. At some point after dinner they had decided to go to sleep, but as of now they were laying together in a comfortable silence. Somehow, Yuuri had become accustomed to Viktor touching him at truly a record breaking speed. Right now, his heart had barely started to skip double time.

After a few moments, he felt something soft and warm press against his neck. It felt nice and Yuuri hummed at the pleasant sensation before he realized what it was. Jerking back he looked at Viktor in alarm. “What are you doing?”

Viktor looked almost like a kicked puppy. “It was just a kiss… Did you not like it?”

Yuuri sat up and ran his hand down his face. “I told you, Viktor. You don’t have to do something like that to keep me here.”

Viktor bit his lip and somehow looked more vulnerable than Yuuri had ever seen him. “What it I wanted to?”

Yuuri’s mouth fell open as his eyes searched Viktor’s face for any sign of lie. Not finding any, he leaned forward, pushing Viktor’s hair out of his eyes. “Are you sure that’s what you want?”

Viktor blinked and truly thought about it for a few moments before he nodded. “Yes. I’ve never felt like this before, Just Yuuri. I want to make you feel as good as you’ve made me feel.”

“A-Are you s-sure?” Yuuri stuttered.

“Do you not want to?” Viktor blushed lightly.

If he was being honest, there was nothing that Yuuri wanted more but… “Viktor, are you sober right now?”

“Are you worried about my ability to consent? That’s very sweet of you, Just Yuuri, but yes. I am fully aware of what’s going on right now,” Viktor smiled, sweet and gentle.

After a second of studying his face, Yuuri nodded, a determined look in his eyes. “Then please take care of me.”

Viktor’s face cracked into a smile. “No need to sound so formal.”

Yuuri’s face heated up to a bright pink before it was his turn to study the sheets. “I’ve never been in a situation like this one before.”

Viktor blinked and then his eyes widened. “Are you…?”

Yuuri’s face turned an even brighter red and he nodded quickly. “Yes, I-I’ve never even kissed anyone before.”

Viktor leaned forward and pressed his soft lips to Yuuri’s in a tender but quick kiss. “Can’t say that anymore,” he whispered, smirking just slightly as he rested his forehead against the brunette’s.

Yuuri’s eyes widened before Viktor captured his lips again in another soft kiss that slowly turned more passionate Viktor tongue gently prodding Yuuri’s lips until he opened them to allow the other access access with a soft, breathy moan that Viktor swallowed with a pleased hum of his own.

Before Yuuri was truly sure of what was happening, he found himself on his back, Viktor over him, warm hands running soothing but sensual patterns across his body. When pale, questing fingers dipped under the hem of his shirt, Viktor broke the kiss and leaned back to lock eyes with Yuuri who was now flushed for a very different reason.

“Okay?” Viktor asked softly.

Yuuri nodded quickly, not trusting his vocal cords at the moment. Viktor carefully peeled the shirt from Yuuri’s body and left a trail of kisses down Yuuri’s throat and chest as the latter’s breath hitched at the attention.

“Viktor,” Yuuri almost whined as the singer’s lips brushed against the hem of his pants, fingers tracing patterns along his exposed torso.

“Shh, Just Yuuri,” Viktor whispered as his fingers gently tugged on the offending cloth. “Let me make you feel good…”

When Yuuri was naked, the flush on his skin descending from his cheeks all the way down his neck and chest, his cock already hard from the attention Viktor had been giving him, standing proudly against his stomach, Viktor sat back and admired him.

“Don’t just stare,” Yuuri muttered, embarrassed.

“Beautiful,” Viktor breathed. “You look like you could be the embodiment of Eros, the god of passion. That should be your hook, Just Yuuri.”

“That’s just corny,” Yuuri huffed, looking away. “A-Aren’t you going to…”

Viktor snapped out of his reverie and smiled softly at Yuuri before divesting himself of his own clothes and crawling over the younger man, sprawled out over the bed who’s eyes were struggling to stay on Viktor’s face. “It’s okay, you can look,” Viktor whispered, pressing another soft kiss to Yuuri’s lips. “You can touch, too.”

Yuuri’s eyes slowly trailed over Viktor’s body, his pupils blown wide with lust, but his gaze soft with adoration. “And you say I’m beautiful,” Yuuri whispered before he could stop himself.

Viktor blushed at the unexpected admission and buried his face into Yuuri’s neck as the brunette reverently ran his fingers over Viktor’s chest and stomach. It wasn’t like Yuuri hadn’t seen Viktor’s torso before, the man had a tendency to perform shirtless, showing off the wing tattoos that sprawled across his back, where most people assumed his band’s name Angel, Angel came from, but to be able to see it so up close, let alone touch it, had the brunette’s head spinning.

After a few moments of the intimate and careful touch, Viktor carefully rolled his hips forward, letting Yuuri feel his arousal. Yuuri gasped, his fingers tensing against Viktor’s body as his eyes snapped shut at the unexpected pleasure. Viktor groaned softly at the contact and rolled his hips again, their lengths rubbing together, causing delicious friction.

After a few moments, Viktor drew back and pressed another soft kiss to Yuuri’s lips before he smiled and slid down the brunette’s body. Laying a hot, open mouthed kiss against the length in front of him, Viktor pressed a slick finger against Yuuri’s hole. The latter tensed, trying in vain to figure out when Viktor had acquired lube.

“Relax,” Viktor whispered. “I won’t hurt you.”

Yuuri squeezed his eyes shut as he took slow, deep breaths, forcing his body to relax, feeling Viktor’s finger slide into him slowly. It was an unusual sensation, but Yuuri couldn’t say he didn’t like it. After a few moments of careful prodding, Viktor pressed a second finger into Yuuri and sucked his cock into his mouth at the same time. Yuuri nearly screamed at the dual sensations, but Viktor didn’t stop. He just reached his other hand up and laced his fingers with Yuuri’s, grounding him in the wake of the overwhelming pleasure.

At some point, Viktor had wiggled a third finger into Yuuri, stretching him open wide, his throat doing sinful things to his length and Yuuri was honestly impressed with himself for not having come yet. Suddenly, Viktor was hovering over him, squeezing the hand he still held, a soft smile on his reddened lips.

“Still okay?” Viktor asked softly.

Yuuri nodded, blinking his eyes to try and clear the pleasure haze. “Please, Viktor, please…” Yuuri begged, but he didn’t even know what he was asking for really.

Viktor’s smile widened before he leaned forward and kissed Yuuri to the point of breathlessness before he pulled back. “I’ve got you,” he said gently and then Yuuri felt it. Something, hot and hard pressed against his stretched hole and for a second, he was afraid, but he met the ocean blue eyes that looked at him so tenderly, like Yuuri was something precious, and he couldn’t help himself. His whole body relaxed, surrendering itself to Viktor.

Viktor’s cock was bigger than his fingers, but he had prepared Yuuri well so there wasn’t any real pain. Viktor thrust into him, and hit something in Yuuri had had him seeing stars, and Yuuri clenched Viktor’s hand tightly, the other scrambling for purchase along Viktor’s back. The world blurred out as Viktor made love to him, the only thing that existed was Viktor. Just Viktor. The world around him erupted in white and Yuuri was distantly aware of his own voice screaming his release mixed with Viktor’s name as Viktor moaned into his neck.

Some time later, Yuuri came back down to Earth, to find himself wrapped in a blanket with Viktor curled into his side. “Welcome back,” Viktor said softly.

“Oh my god,” Yuuri whispered, a twinge of soreness shooting through his lower back as he rolled to face Viktor.

“Are you alright?” Viktor asked, running his fingers down the side of Yuuri’s face.

Yuuri leaned into the touch and nodded. “That was… Amazing.”

Viktor smiled brighter than the sun and leaned in to kiss Yuuri. They kissed for a long time before Yuuri nestled himself into Viktor’s chest and they fell into a comfortable sleep, the last thing Yuuri could identify was that warm feeling in his chest exploding into something that felt suspiciously like love.

**May 17, 2009**

Yuuri woke early in the morning, Viktor still sleeping at his side. He scooted up to sit, the light of the early morning sun pouring into the room and making Viktor look even more beautiful as it danced over his pale skin, highlighting the wing tattoos and making them look almost like they could leap off his back and sprout into real wings at any moment. He hummed softly, music coming to mind uninhibited. As his eyes slid over Viktor’s sleeping form, Yuuri sang softly, composing the music in his head as he went.

_ I see your monsters, _

_ I see your pain, _

_ Tell me your problems, _

_ I’ll chase them away. _

_ I’ll be your lighthouse, _

_ I’ll make it okay. _

_ When I see your monsters, _

_ I’ll stand there so brave _

_ And chase them all away… _

Before he could continue, Yuuri’s phone buzzed from the nightstand and he grabbed it hastily, hoping the sound wouldn’t wake Viktor. Unlocking the screen, he checked the text message he had received.

**From Celestino: Yuuri, you have to come in now. The record label wants to talk to you about a few things and have expressed interest in signing you!!**

Yuuri’s eyes widened and then shot to Viktor. He would understand, wouldn’t he? Yuuri had promised to stay, but he had said that he was waiting for this message. Viktor had been so supportive, he was sure to understand that Yuuri had to leave.

After a second, he decided not to wake the sleeping man next to him. He looked entirely too comfortable, so instead Yuuri found the complimentary stationary the hotel had left and scrawled a quick note.

_ Viktor~ _

_ I’m sorry, but my manager messaged me and said that I had to come in. The record label might sign me! I’m really sorry I have to go, but this is the message I’ve been waiting for--It’s a once in a lifetime opportunity! I hope that the next time we see each other we will be standing on equal ground and I can be someone you will be proud to have at your side… because I don’t want this to end here. I want to see you again because I think I have feelings for you. I want to help you, Viktor and I want to always make you happy.  _

_ Call me, please. 347-555-0126 _

_ Yours,  _

_ Just Yuuri _

Nodding in satisfaction, Yuuri left the note on the nightstand and got dressed as quietly as he could. Once he was all set to go, Yuuri leaned over the bed and pressed a gentle kiss into Viktor’s soft hair and then took off like a bat out of hell.

Making his way down the hallway, he was stopped in his tracks by none other than Yuri Plisetsky.

“You!” Yuri roared.

Yuuri’s eyes shot to the elevator just behind the blonde and wondered if he could make it if he sprinted. “Um.. Yes?”

“Listen here, pig!” Yuri said, anger lacing his voice. “I don’t know what happened this weekend, but no matter what he told you, you better not breathe a word of it to anyone  _ or else _ ! Don’t fuck with Vitya, do you hear me?”

Yuuri’s eyes widened at the obvious threat in the words that desperately tried to cover up the honest to god caring Yuri was showing right now. “Hates him, indeed,” Yuuri muttered.

“What was that?” Yuri growled and stalked forward, leaving Yuuri’s escape route unblocked.

Yuuri tore his eyes away from the elevator and smiled at the teen. “I understand, and while I don’t have time to talk about this, know whatever secrets Viktor let slip, I will keep. But I really have to go. Nice to meet you. I love your new single!” Yuuri bowed slightly and then took off for the elevator, to make his way to what might be the most important meeting of his life.

**May 17, 2009-The Other Side**

Viktor blinked his eyes open, confused and  _ sober _ . He lifted his head off his pillow, spying his luggage across the room. Huffing, he stood and made his way to his bags to retrieve his pills, musing to himself on the way there. When was the last time he was sober? He couldn’t remember it. Not since… Not since before he started getting his own special blend of pills that lasted for 48 hours. How had he managed to go all of yesterday without taking another dose?

He sighed and shook the pills out into his hand and quickly swallowed them down. What did he do this weekend anyway? Watch television? Viktor was pretty sure he watched some stupid tv shows all weekend. Whatever it was had to have been sappy because he could still feel left over warm fuzzies. There was a hazy feeling of something--someone?--warm being there, too, but it was probably just drug haze. Glancing around, he located his phone on the floor and picked it up, his eyes widening when he saw the time.

Cursing to himself, he tossed his pills back into his bag and got dressed in record time. Quickly checking his appearance to be passible for public, Viktor ran out of the hotel room, knowing his crew would move his luggage and paid a cabby to speed to the airport so he wouldn’t miss his flight.


	3. Chapter 3

**August 22, 2009**

Yuuri sighed, looking around the room. While he knew that networking parties, full of artists from all different labels, like this were important to a singer’s career, he couldn’t quite understand why he was here. He still hadn’t released his first single, even if the label had been pushing him a bit. He knew that they expected him to produce something, but the beginning of the song he had started to write while looking at Viktor sleeping wouldn’t stop rattling around his head, preventing him from starting anything else. The fact that Viktor hadn’t called or texted him since that weekend sat heavily in his mind, keeping him on edge and made something delicate crack inside him that Yuuri didn’t even know he had.

As his eyes roamed the room, looking for Phichit, his roommate and the reason he had tried to hard to sign with this label, his eyes landed on a familiar head of silver hair. Viktor Nikiforov swept into the room, surrounded by the other members of Angel, Angel. Yuuri felt his eyes widen as the blonde drummer, Christophe, leaned forward and said something in Viktor’s ear before the lead singer nodded and the group separated.

For a moment, Yuuri actually thought that Viktor was walking towards him, but their guitarist stepped in front of Yuuri’s line of sight before he could tell.

“You’re a fresh face,” JJ said, something in his tone sounding almost condescending.

“I’m new,” Yuuri said softly, before he remembered that he was supposed to have the venier of The Eros Experience on him and he forced his lips to turn up into a sultry smile. “What can I do for you?”

“New, huh?” JJ asked. “What’s your first single?”

“You’ll just have to wait like everyone else,” Yuuri turned his smile up a notch. “I’m The Eros Experience.”

“Are you now,” JJ raised his eyebrows and Yuuri felt his eye twitch slightly at this man’s attitude, but before he could respond, an arm slung around the guitarist’s shoulders.

“Are you scaring the newbies, JJ?” Christophe asked.

“I was just talking to him,” JJ glared, shrugging Christophe’s arm off of him.

Mila, who played the electric piano for the group popped up next to Christophe and smiled apologetically at Yuuri before shooting JJ a dirty look, but Yuuri’s world froze as Viktor appeared on JJ’s other side and shot Yuuri a charming smile, while holding out his hand to shake. “Sorry about him. JJ can come on a bit strong, but he’s not really a bad guy. I’m Viktor Nikiforov, lead singer and bassist of Angel, Angel.”

Yuuri felt time grind to a halt as Viktor held out his hand to him. All Yuuri could do for several moments was stare at the offending limb as that little, delicate thing broke beyond repair. So that’s how Viktor wanted to play this, huh? After spending that time together, after Yuuri had sworn to help him, after Yuuri let him take his virginity, Viktor was just going to pretend that he didn’t know Yuuri?

Before he could stop his mouth, Yuuri turned his eyes back to Viktor and let the hurt show in them as he sneered. “That’s rich.”

Viktor’s jaw dropped open in surprise as Yuuri held the eye contact until Phichit bounded up to his side. “There you are, TEE! I was looking everywhere for you! You have to try these crab cake things, oh my god, they’re to die for. Come on!”

Yuuri let Phichit drag him away from Angel, Angel, even though he could feel their eyes boring into his back. Once they were far enough away, pressed into a secluded corner of the hall where the event was being held Phichit’s joyful expression turned serious.

“So, what was that about?” Phichit asked.

“What,” Yuuri muttered, taking a swig of his drink.

“Well, you looked like you wanted to punch Viktor Nikiforov in the face,” Phichit crossed his arms. “And I know you’ve always worshiped him… At least up until recently when I’m sure something happened because you’ve changed. I’m not dumb and I’ve known you for years at this point, so, are you finally going to tell me what happened that weekend you disappeared before getting signed?”

“Not now, Phich,” Yuuri sighed, looking forlornly at his now empty glass. “It doesn’t even matter anymore.”

“I think it does,” Phichit shot back. “It’s got you in a slump. You basically exude music most of the time and you haven’t so much as hummed a tune in the shower in weeks. You can’t tell me that whatever happened isn’t affecting you.”

“I know,” Yuuri sighed. “But I think I’m better now. I think I finally have my inspiration back.”

“You do?” Phichit’s eyes widened.

“Yes,” Yuuri’s eyes burned with determination. “Because you’re not wrong. Something did happen, even if I don’t want to talk about it, but I’ll use that to write my first single.”

Phichit studied his face for a few moments before his own broke into a grin. “Yes, Yuuri, get it! I’m so excited! And then you’ll let me collab with you, right?”

Yuuri laughed softly. “Eventually, Phich. There’s no way that The Eros Experience and Phich’s and Creme aren’t going to have a couple records together.”

“That’s what I’m talking about!” Phichit pumped his fist into the air and then grinned. “By the way, I wasn’t kidding about those crab cake thingies. You totally need to try them.”

Yuuri laughed, even as the shattered bits of the delicate thing stabbed into his chest painfully.

**October 16, 2009**

Viktor stared in confusion at his twitter feed. It was filling with people tweeting him a particular song.  _ Why does this sound like it could totally be about you, Viktor?  _ Was echoed all over the feed in different ways.

Viktor rolled his eyes and opened one of the links that took him to YouTube. There was no way the song was about him, but he had to play to his fans and give a proper response. A man with gorgeous brown eyes appeared as the video buffered that Viktor immediately recognized. The singer known as The Eros Experience, filled the screen, his presence as commanding and sultry as it ever had been. Now, Viktor  _ knew _ that this song wasn’t about him. The nameless singer of The Eros Experience  _ hated _ Viktor for reasons the silver haired man couldn’t figure out.

The first time they had met the man’s eyes had widened as Viktor introduced himself and he’d stared at the extended hand like it would burn him.  _ That’s rich _ the man had said before his smouldering eyes had turned back to Viktor’s with something that looked like a mix of hurt and anger. After that he had refused to say a word until his friend, a bouncy rapper from the same label came and called him away. Viktor let the song play anyway.

_ [Your](https://youtu.be/JGulAZnnTKA)little brother never tells you but he loves you so _

_ You said your mother only smiled on her tv show _

_ You’re only happy when you’re sorry, head is filled with dope _

_ I hope you make it to the day you’re twenty eight years old _

_ You’re dripping like a saturated sunrise _

_ You’re spilling like an overflowing sink _

_ You’re ripped at every edge, but you’re a masterpiece _

_ And now I’m tearing through the pages and the ink  _

_ Everything is blue _

_ His pills, his hands, his jeans _

_ And now I’m covered in the colors, pull apart at the seams _

_ And it’s blue _

_ And it’s blue _

_ Everything is grey _

_ His hair, his smoke, his dreams _

_ And now he’s so devoid of color _

_ He don’t know what it means _

_ And he’s blue _

_ And he’s blue _

_ You were a vision in the morning when the light came through _

_ I know I’ve only felt religion when I’ve lied with you _

_ You said you’ll never be forgiven until your boys are too _

_ And I’m still waking every morning but it’s not with you _

_ You’re dripping like a saturated sunrise _

_ You’re spilling like an overflowing sink _

_ You’re ripped at every edge, but you’re a masterpiece _

_ And now I’m tearing through the pages and the ink _

_ Everything is blue _

_ His pills, his hands, his jeans _

_ And now I’m covered in the colors, pull apart at the seams _

_ And it’s blue _

_ And it’s blue  _

_ Everything is grey _

_ His hair, his smoke, his dreams _

_ And now he’s so devoid of color _

_ He don’t know what it means _

_ And he’s blue _

_ And he’s blue _

_ You were red, and you liked me because I was blue _

_ But you touched me and suddenly I was a lilac sky _

_ Then you decided that purple just wasn’t for you _

_ Everything is blue _

_ His pills, his hair, his jeans _

_ And now I’m covered in the colors pulled apart at the seams _

_ And it’s blue _

_ And it’s blue _

_ Everything is grey _

_ His hair, his smoke, his dreams _

_ And now he’s so devoid of color _

_ He don’t know what it means _

_ And he’s blue _

_ And he’s blue _

As the song faded out and Viktor stopped the autoplay from flipping to the next song, he became aware of the shaking in his hands. His heart was beating erratically and for once, he agreed with his fans. That song sounded an awful lot like it was about him. More than the fans could know, it sounded like it was about him, but  _ how could that be true _ . The song was written and sung by a man who’s name he didn’t even know, a man who had said exactly two words to him in his  _ entire life _ . There was no way that the singer of The Eros Experience could know all of these intimate details of Viktor’s life. There was  _ no way _ .

How could he know about Viktor’s little brother, who did not love him, thank you very much. How could he know that Anastasia Nikiforov was severely depressed in real life? How could he know about Viktor’s special blue pills, that weren’t dope, but they weren’t anything that was legal, for sure? And then there sounded like some kind of familiarity there, like the singer had been in Viktor’s presence for more than mere minutes, like they had  _ slept together _ .

No, if that had happened, Viktor would have remembered it. If that had happened, the singer of The Eros Experience wouldn’t have been so cold to him. So, maybe the song  _ was  _ about him, and the words were just that. Words. The singer had made a few guesses that actually hit closer to home than expected. Yes, that made sense. A man that clearly hated him was calling him out in a song, to try and topple Viktor from his throne and if that’s what he wanted, then Viktor would respond in kind. He was sure that his label wouldn’t mind. It would be good publicity for him to respond to the call out, to not back down. The fans would absolutely gobble it up.

But… Where to start? Viktor didn’t know a thing about the singer of The Eros Experience, other than he lived up to his stage name. He restarted the video and closed his eyes, letting the sound wash over him. When it was over, Viktor had made a decision. He was confused, so he would use that. His confusion was easy to grasp on to, easy to follow. Yes, he could make a decent response out of this.

Pulling out his phone, he dialed Chris. The drummer picked up in no more than two rings. “Viktor, what the fuck?”

“I know,” Viktor replied.

“I thought no one knew about the rage kitten?” Chris jumped right in.

“No one knows about Yuri,” Viktor confirmed. “So you’ve heard it.”

“That was an awful lot of good guesses,” Chris said and then he paused. “Viktor… Are… Are you getting bad again?”

“What? No,” Viktor made a face as if Chris could see it through the line. “I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?” Chris’ voice was gentle and Viktor hated it. He knew that his friends worried about him, that they thought Viktor’s pills were in the past, even if they still checked up on him from time to time, but they didn’t need to know that he had never actually stopped taking them.

“Yes, of course I’m sure!” Viktor exclaimed. “But it was a lot of good guesses and I think we should respond in kind.”

“You want to start a music war with an up and coming,” Chris said blandly. “This doesn’t have to do with the fact that he was cute as hell and totally blew you off at that party, does it?”

“Yes, I do,” Viktor grinned. “And it  _ might _ have something to do with it. He’ll get some attention for it, too, but it will be a resounding ‘don’t mess with the sharks’, don’t you think?”

“You sadistic bastard. God help The Eros Experience,” Chris swore. “Write your response, I’ll call JJ and Mila to let them know to meet us at the studio tomorrow.”

“Jesus, I’m not a miracle worker,” Viktor laughed. “One day?”

“They don’t call us Angel, Angel for nothing,” Chris sang and then the line went dead.

Viktor rolled his eyes and tossed his phone onto his desk, his mind already composing his response.


	4. Chapter 4

**November 7, 2009**

Yuuri blinked as he sat in his bed, listening to a new single from Angel, Angel. They had written and produced it in record time and a copy of it had arrived on a flash drive, directly in his hands, for a courier. The words wrapped around his mind, bring forth confusion and a sense of loss.

_[Baby](https://youtu.be/f0bbDFRYD_A), I don’t understand this_

_ You’re changing, I can’t stand it _

_ My heart can’t take this damage _

_ And the way I feel, I can’t stand it _

_ Baby, I don’t understand this _

_ You’re changing I can’t stand it _

_ My heart can’t take this damage _

_ And the way I feel, can’t stand it _

_ Baby, I don’t understand it _

_ Boy, you’re making it hard for me _

_ Boy you’re making it hard for me _

_ Boy, you’re making it hard for me, uh _

_ Boy, you’re making it hard for me _

_ Boy, you’re making it hard for me _

_ Boy, you’re making it hard for me _

_ Mmm, baby, I don't understand this _

_ You're changing, I can't stand it _

_ My heart can't take this damage _

_ And the way I feel, can't stand it _

_ Mmm, baby, I don't understand this _

_ You're changing, I can't stand it _

_ My heart can't take this damage _

_ And the way I feel, can't stand it _

_ Mmm, baby, I don't understand this _

_ You're changing, I can't stand it _

_ My heart can't take this damage _

_ And the way I feel, can't stand it _

_ Mmm, baby, I don't understand it _

What did that even _ mean _ . If the flash drive hadn’t been delivered directly to him, Yuuri wouldn’t have even thought that this was Angel, Angel’s response to him. It made no _ sense _. In Yuuri’s humble opinion, it wasn’t even really a song, more a question. A question that sounded less like a response to Yuuri’s plea and more like words from a completely unrelated source.

Actually, after the way that Viktor had greeted him at that party would make this seem less out of left field. Viktor seemed to be determined to brush off the encounter that still had Yuuri filled with warmth every time he looked back on it. Why? Why was Viktor doing this? Yuuri had held all of the secrets that Viktor had let slip inside, he didn’t tell anyone that he had even spent the weekend with the other singer, let alone the things that he had learned. It hadn’t been a small feat, Phichit had hounded him about it until Yuuri had snapped at him to stop with all of the questions, leaving the rapper looking a little hurt but understanding to stop asking about it. Of course, Yuuri’s behavior had given Phichit some clues, but he hadn’t really been able to connect the dots with Yuuri being as unhelpful as he was. Yuuri had even taken Viktor’s suggestion. He had used the words right out of Viktor’s mouth as his hook. _ You look you could be the embodiment of Eros _. It was uncomfortable for Yuuri to fall into that role, to be pure seduction like his stage name implied, but he did it because Viktor had looked at him like he was something worth being worshipped as he said it. The record label had eaten it up, too.

And yet, after this response and the blatant rejection that Viktor had offered Yuuri, perhaps it was time to let go of those warm feelings. Maybe it was time to move on. Yuuri sighed and pushed up his glasses to rub his eyes. He knew it was time to let go, but he also was stubborn and determined. Now that Angel, Angel had responded to Colors with their own single, there was no way that he was going to back down from the mounting music battle that loomed over them.

There was a soft knock on his door and then Phichit’s head popped in before waiting for a response. “So, did you listen to it?”

Yuuri nodded, his mind already pulling at him to pull out his electric piano to start composing.

Phichit put his hands on his hips. “What is it?”

“A new single from Angel, Angel,” Yuuri muttered as music flowed in his head. “It makes no sense, Phich…”

“Nothing makes sense!” Phichit exclaimed, throwing up his hands. “You wrote a song about Viktor Nikiforov--” Phichit shook his finger in Yuuri’s face when the other opened his mouth to object. “--That all but ripped the poor guy apart despite the fact that you used to worship the very ground he walked on. Then! THEN! Angel, Angel, the legends themselves, _ answered you _ like that isn’t the craziest thing I’ve heard in my entire life. All of this after you almost ate the whole band at a networking function. After you went from normal Yuuri, to the happiest Yuuri I’ve ever seen to the saddest Yuuri I’ve ever had to prop up! What is all of this, Yuuri? Please, how am I supposed to help you if you don’t tell me what’s going on?”

Yuuri sighed softly. “There are just some things I can’t tell you, Phichit. You know that.”

“Like hell, I know that,” Phichit flopped over on Yuuri’s bed with an exasperated sigh. “There’s nothing you could tell me that I would judge you for, and you know that. And you know that if it’s something that you’re not supposed to share, I can keep my mouth shut, despite popular opinion. It’s not good to bottle things up, Yuuri. _ You _ know that.”

Yuuri pushed his glasses back up and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I know that and maybe… One day I’ll tell you, but right now I just want to hold onto this. There’s only so much that I can really believe is happening, to be completely honest, and I don’t really want to talk about it until I’m sure of what’s going on. Especially with how odd Angel, Angel’s response was.”

Phichit rolled to the side and rested his head in Yuuri’s lap. “Okay. But one day, you’re going to have to tell me.”

Yuuri nodded. “But right now I have to answer.”

“Answer??” Phichit sat bolt upright.

“Yeah,” Yuuri grinned. “You thought I wouldn’t respond to a clear call to music war?”

“Yuuri!” Phichit hissed. “_ That’s Angel, Angel _. They’re going to decimate you! You’re just starting out!”

“And what’s going to get me more attention than beating the most legendary band into submission?” Yuuri replied as he hauled his keyboard out of his closet and plopped it onto his desk.

“God, I hope you know what you’re doing, you absolute lunatic,” Phichit sighed. “But you know I’ve got your back.”

Yuuri nodded, already playing soft notes and humming to himself. As much as he tried to hide the pang of pain in his heart, Phichit could clearly hear it in the notes coming from the keyboard.

  


**December 22, 2009**

_ Happy Birthday, V. You wanted war and so we shall fight. _

_[Th](https://youtu.be/-QgvP8K1b4I)is hurts like hell _

_ But I keep telling myself _

_ It’s gonna get better _

_ But it’s taking forever _

_ I tried to go out _

_ But every time I leave the house _

_ Something reminds me _

_ Of what’s now behind me _

_ Every day I let go _

_ Just a little bit more _

_ In the end I’m going to be alright _

_ But it might take a hundred sleepless nights _

_ To make the memories of you disappear _

_ But right now I can’t see nothing through these tears _

_ Control my thoughts _

_ Convincing myself it’s your loss _

_ I really mean it _

_ And I’m starting to believe it _

_ Cause every day I let go _

_ Just a little bit more _

_ In the end I’m gonna be alright _

_ But it might take a hundred sleepless nights _

_ To make the memories of you disappear _

_ But right now I can’t see nothing through these tears _

_ Out of sight, but you’re not out of my mind _

_ So it might take somebody else at night _

_ To make it feel like you were never here _

_ But right now I can’t see nothing through these tears _

_ You said it was over _

_ But when we got closer _

_ You cried on my shoulder _

_ Goodbye _

_ In the end I’m gonna be alright _

_ But it might take a hundred sleepless nights _

_ To make the memories of you disappear _

_ But right now I can’t see nothing through these tears _

_ Out of sight, but you’re not out of my mind _

_ So it might take somebody else at night _

_ To make it feel like you were never here _

_ But right now I can’t see nothing through these tears _

_ Driving home on an empty highway _

_ I thought about you and I hit the brakes _

_ What we had and who we were was so clear _

_ But right now I can’t see nothing through these tears _

Viktor pursed his lips as the last notes of the song faded out. While again, the song didn’t make any sense to him, the little intro on the disk that had been hand delivered to him via courier had made even less sense. He didn’t start this war!

“Well, that sounds…” Chris, for once, seemed to be at a loss for words.

“It sounds personal,” Mila filled in. “What did you do to TEE, anyway?”

“You’re calling him TEE now?” Viktor’s eyes flashed to the redhead.

“Yeah. Funnily enough, if you’re not there he’s pretty fun to hang around with,” Mila shrugged.

“And how did you find this out?” Viktor shot back.

“His friend,” JJ supplied.

“You, too?” Viktor glared.

Chris, who looked supremely uncomfortable, sighed. “You can’t say you didn’t recognize the kid that pulled him away before he completely decimated you at that party. It was Phichit Chulanont, you know, Phich’s and Creme? The kid who has done some rap parts for us in the past? He and Mila are good friends so when Phichit and Mila hang out, sometimes he brings his friend. You know, TEE.”

“Chris!” Viktor turned to his best friend with a look of betrayal. “You’ve all hung out with him? Why didn’t I know?”

“Because whatever he has against Angel, Angel seems to only have to do with you,” JJ shrugged. “And we like having friends.”

“Yeah, so what did you do to TEE?” Mila tacked on.

“So much for band loyalty!” Viktor growled half heartedly. “And I haven’t done anything to him! The first time we met was at that party.”

The rest of the band shifted around in their seats, guilty looks on their faces. “Look, we might not know what’s going on, hell, I’m willing to believe that you don’t know what’s going on, but TEE isn’t a bad guy so obviously _ he _thinks something is going on,” Chris said finally.

“You’re the ones who hang out with him,” Viktor pouted. “Ask him yourselves. And if you’re hanging out with him, why are you still calling him TEE? Don’t you know his name?”

“No one knows his name,” JJ supplied. “I doubt Chulanont even knows. It’s just TEE.”

“Plus, we did ask him,” Mila shrugged. “He said it was no one’s business and then Phichit looked like he was going to cry and changed the subject.”

“I think it might be my business at this point,” Viktor dug the heels of his palms into his eyes. “This is definitely targeting me. I mean, how many people have Christmas birthdays in the industry?”

“So maybe you should ask him,” Chris offered.

“Yeah, maybe I should,” Viktor replied. “I’ll work on the answer. I’m sure you guys have holiday plans, so get going. I’ll see you in the new year.”

As Mila and JJ said their goodbyes and made their way out, Chris turned to Viktor. “The offer still stands for you to come spend Christmas with Masumi and I.”

Viktor smiled at his friend. “I appreciate it, Chris, but I’m just going to work on the answer.”

Chris hesitated and then nodded. “Don’t crush the kid too hard. He’s actually a nice guy.”

“So you’ve said,” Viktor pouted.

Chris sighed again. “I’m sorry we were… Fraternizing with the enemy or whatever.”

Viktor shook his head. “No, it’s a good thing for there not to be any bad blood despite this little thing we have going.”

“Yeah…” Chris ran his hand down his face and then grabbed his coat. “Happy Birthday, Viktor. Don’t work too hard.”

Viktor nodded, scribbling lyrics on this notepad as Chris left. As soon as the door swung shut behind him, Viktor threw the pen down and covered his eyes again with a groan of shame. Sure, he hadn’t lied when he said that he had no idea what was going on, but this whole fight was dragging things into his head. Just last night he had woken up hard as a rock and moaning like he was getting a good fuck with the image of The Eros Experience writhing underneath him like the literal sex god his name implied he was. Even his own dreams were betraying him.

Wait… That was a good angle. Without a real basis to jump off of like The Eros Experience apparently had, Viktor would take anything he could get.


End file.
